You really coming over, don't trick.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
