Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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