Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
