remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
