he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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