Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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