I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
