Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
