Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
