She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
