dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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