I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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