susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
