I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
