Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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