it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
