i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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