So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
