Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
