some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm bleeding and have questions
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
