VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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