5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
