a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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