At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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