My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
NoShamevember. You game?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
