Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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