what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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