It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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