I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just google imaged poop.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize