planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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