Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
