I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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