Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
