my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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