I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
