i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
