Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
