Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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