Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize