i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
