Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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