Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my sisters under your porch take her home
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize