school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
