Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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