Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize