I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
