You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
