$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
