I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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