so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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