FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
