what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
