she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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