He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
