R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
