me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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