I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
