The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize