I'd wear matching sweaters with you
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
