You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
