ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize