Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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