Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
