This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
